Breakthroughs

I cannot believe Thursday is almost over already. This week has gone so fast, even though there are certainly times during the day that we all pray and beg for it to be over with. Being here is as much a mental challenge as a physical one.In fact, we are told several times at the beginning of the week that nearly everyone who comes here has at least one moment when they cry uncontrollably.

Mine happened today during a mandatory class everyone dreads--Treading. Treading is a class saved for Thursday because if it happened Monday, everyone would want to go home.

What is Treading? It'S a 45 minute cardio class where, after a 5 minute warmup on the equipment of your choice, you do 5 minutes at the absolute max you can muster while the trainer tells you she's pretty sure you've got a little more in you. Then you get 5 minutes of active recovery (still moving, but slowly), and then you kick it up for 4 minutes at your absolute max, 4 minutes recovery, 3 min max/3 min recovery, and so on, until you end with two one minute sprints at your absolute top level of effort. I chose the elliptical machine because it's hard for me. I can do a few minutes in my Y classes, but I rarely choose it if I'm at the gym. I certainly have never done 45 minutes on one at once,a and I don't think I've ever gone past Level 8 of resistance in my life. Today, I listened to Nicole, an incredible trainer here (for Biggest Loser fans, Nicole reminds me so much of Jillian except she doesn't scream). As she told us to believe in ourselves and see what our bodies can really do when we stop telling ourselves we can't, I pushed myself so far past what I thought I was capable of--and certainly didn't know if I could sustain for the whole interval. I got to Level 19 on this machine that has been my nemesis...and I was completely overcome with emotion. I did something that felt impossible, and it made me believe I can come home and make this all work. It was the most incredible feeling. I am so proud of myself.

My other breakthrough of the week is that I finally feel like I know what it feels like to be hungry, and full. I have left food on my plate at almost every meal...and they're only feeding us 1200 calories a day. I feel confident that I have the tools I need to come home and live a healthy life, and the mental fortitude to stick to my plan and reach my goals.

I may not come home looking much different (there is only so much weight a person can lose in one week) but inside, I am completely transformed.