I’ve been asked, “How’s your Forty for 40 Challenge going?” enough times recently to get the hint that I’m way overdue for a new post. (Thanks, by the way...it’s nice to know you are paying attention and keeping me honest!)
For those of you keeping track, I have actually accomplished a fair number of things on my list, and many others (like my fitness vacation and running a half marathon) are planned for later in the year. It’s been a run ride so far, and I definitely plan to keep at it through the end of 2010.
I put this list together, in part, to keep myself accountable. Posting a list for the world to see would ensure that I did all of the items on the list, if for no other reason than pride or stubbornness. Wouldn’t it?
The truth is there are a few things I said I’d do that, looking back, I know I wrote down just to make my list a nice even 40 items. Reading 40 books from the BBC list, for example—while I have loved a few of the books I’ve read, there are others that I have not enjoyed but I kept plodding through, ignoring the non-BBC books that have been calling to me for weeks.
And then I had an epiphany. I don’t have to do anything on this list just because I wrote it down. I don’t owe anyone an explanation if I change the list midstream, or choose not to do a few of the things because I’ve discovered they’re no longer important to me. After all, what’s more important in the end is that I look back on this as a year of personal growth and joyful moments—not that I checked off a list of 40 things I wrote down in November, even if ten of them made me miserable, or bored me to tears. And, try as I might, I really don’t love running…so if I walk half of my half marathon instead of killing myself to run it at a pace I’ve never achieved in any event, it’s still a huge accomplishment.
So, I’m continuing this challenge with a sense of liberation—liberation from my own stubbornness and fear of admitting I can’t do it all. It’s not failure to admit I didn’t have all the answers six months ago—in fact, I’d content that the best success of all is acknowledging that I’m learning as I go along, and that staying committed to my own happiness is more important than checking items off a list.
